Long term relationship
Love is supposed to be no boundaries nor limits at all. It is supposed to be blind because not even age, distance, family, wealth or fame can fade it.
Long distance relationship..... One of the worst nightmares that a couple could ever face. People often say "It is that time where your love and loyalties are tested". It is obviously the hardest stage.
All those bubbles would pop out "Is that person worth waiting for? ", "Would that person cheat on me? " , "Should I end it before I gone mental or should I date my maid instead? ".It is understandable that long term relationship are a unpleasant experience. Nobody likes it and nobody would tell you that he/she enjoy her Boyfriend/Girlfriend being 20 hours away from them for months or years! It is hard, think of it positively, if you guys could survive this, you guys can survive anyhthing else! Long term relationship do make both of you stronger.
It is not easy but it is easier nowadays compare to the old days as there were new communication technologies.
I would say it need more patience and effort for the relationship to work. Emotional and weak people find it difficult to maintain a good relationship. A strong and loyalty people will find it worth sacrificing.
Before you decided to go on a long distance relationship, there is one most important thing that you need to consider which is making sure that the distance between you guys are only temporary. You would want to make sure that you are not chasing after nothingness. For example, your love one are going back to his/her country to work for the Minister for the rest of the life while you are working for your Minister for the rest of your life too. I know it is over-exaggerating but still it seems hopeless right?
So make sure that your distance is just temporary and you guys would get to see each other face to face again after some time .There must be some hope or possibilities that you guys could meet each other.
Not only that, you need to decide whether it is worth making all the effort and sacrifices for that person. After looking at the pros and cons, think whether it is worth making the effort .
Pros
1. Distance helps love grow fonder,whenever you meet after some time,things seem to be fresh and new.
2. With all the latest technologies like whatsapp, telegram, wechat, skype you can be in touch whole day so its not like distance is an issue.
3. If your independence is important, then a long distance relationship is for you.
4. You will appreciate more the relationship.
1. You have to make sure the time you spend together will be mind blowing... pressure!
2. Sadness when departing
3. Loneliness increases
4. Feelings of insecurity
5. Difficulty maintaining intimacy
6. Money for traveling, sometimes it can be big amounts you need to spend before you see your lover
7. Out of sight, out of mind
Don't let all these cons discourage you.
3. If your independence is important, then a long distance relationship is for you.
4. You will appreciate more the relationship.
Cons
1. You have to make sure the time you spend together will be mind blowing... pressure!
2. Sadness when departing
3. Loneliness increases
4. Feelings of insecurity
5. Difficulty maintaining intimacy
6. Money for traveling, sometimes it can be big amounts you need to spend before you see your lover
7. Out of sight, out of mind
Don't let all these cons discourage you.
So if you do, then I would like to suggest some tips to survive the worst nightmare -Long term relationship.
Most of the couples who are facing Long term relationship out there had gone dry because most of them have uncertainties which is known as doubt.
Either side would think "Is he/she lost feelings or doesn't feel the same way as he/she used to " , "Is he/she secretly meeting or flirting with someone else? ", "Will anyone there try to flirt or attract her ?" All of these are the common thought people can think of. As time goes by, all these uncertainties will grow and grow. It might grow into some thoughtless action .
That why it is important to aim for something together. As you guys were aiming for something, it is where there would be hope for both of you. For example, looking forward for a vacation, a meeting ,a concert, a wedding ceremony even a date where you guys could meet, looking at a apartment together that when you guys are hoping to live together after the LDR, looking forward to meet again at his/her house ,your partner birthday party. It is very important to aim for something together. Without aim, the relationship will just die out as there wasn't any aim or vision to it.
From time to time, you might start to get more sensitive and judgemental which would normally happen to us. Especially when you guys are far apart from each other, you might start to make all kind of assumption or you start to judge more quickly than you used to.
Not only that ,you would get extremely jealous. Imagine he/she went out to a pool party and she/he took dozen of picture with her/his friends. You would probably ask her all kind of question or you might even judge her quickly like "Who that guy/girl next to you? ","Who the hell is Josh? Why did he tagged you? ", " Stop hanging out with Josh! " Slowly you will get more aggressive and judgemental. "Block Josh! " ,you will get really paranoid about all his/her activity. Even the food she posted can make you paranoid.
Some of the people will get paranoid over small things that they think it is the end of their relationship. So my point here is don't judge too quickly because you don't know what is really happening and going on around him/her. What he/she know or feel might not be the one that you see or feel. Understand him/her more, don't judge. If you really wanna know about the things that you doubt, ask her nicely but never judge.
Well, communication is obviously absolutely definitely the most important fuel for the relationship. It is obvious that couple should communicate as often as possible.
Communicate wisely means talk to that person only when you guys WANT TO rather than HAVE TO!
It is very unhealthy for couples to set the requirements or minimum of calls that they had to make for each day or every night and can't even miss one day. When one of the person miss it for two or three days, that is not the end of the world.
It may work well at first, but slowly either you or that person will miss out few days. But you got to take note that not everyone are as free as you. You need to understand that people do get busy with their life. You need to spend times on yourself too rather than relying or dependant on that person voice or presence to resurrect you or refresh you.
When you force communication, ugly things might happen unintentionally. You would probably have a day when you have nothing to talk about to her as there wasn't anything interesting to talk about. That when you start to talk randomly and fill your conversation with bunch of randomness. Especially when they are spending time doing things they enjoy. Imagine that person were playing games in their free time after a hard afternoon while speaking to you through the phone. I believe only 40% of his mind were speaking to you.
Which make you feel obligated rather you want to spend time with your partner. Since both of you are busy with life, but spending time with each other is a must to both of you. Forced communication might initiate a stupid fight in the future like fighting over the facts that you sacrifice more of your time than that person do.
Give her/him space if you think that person would need it as he/she were busy. Make communication optional, they would also need to give themselves some time to do things they enjoy. By making communication, it requires trust. I am not trying to say that communicate less but communicate wisely. But Do make every effort communicate with her
Which covers that you should make effort to schedule Skype appointment like once a week .
Sometimes you might not know what to talk about but it is not as difficult as you think it is. It is easy as long as you are honest and open with everything you say. Talk to her/him about your day, tell her/him everything. Even about the new pyjamas that you bought for two bucks.
Try and share day to day activities with each other so you exactly know what’s going on in their life when you are not around. Keep the romance alive by compliment that person regularly and continue to make that person feel wonderful or being loved.
Before I get to the last tips, I would like to mention some simple tips too :
A) Act and live your life like your boyfriend/girlfriend is around. Don't go around and act like you are single eventough your partner is not physically around.
B) Phone call is better than texting
C) Plan visit
D) Surprise that person with delivery
Nothing is better than having a fantastic relationship with God. Being close to God, is the ultimate key to success. Being with him, you won't have to worry about that person, as you know God plan everything and everything is in his hand.
Being close with God covers everything and bring solution to all your problem including your relationship. So it is also important to maintain a good relationship with God. For example, imagine you were kicked out of your apartment. You were meant to be very angry but you know that you shouldn't angry as angry can lead you to sin plus you know everything happen for a reason or God had greater plan for you so you would prefer to trust him. As you trust him, you are no longer that explosive which explain that you are no longer a threat to your partner that you might lash out all your anger at him/her. Well, you see? Being close with God is the ultimate key to success. He is the God of Love after all. Let God be the head of your relationship!
Will the relationship works? I don't know ,only God knows. If you are asking for possibilities, I would say yes, there is always hope and yes if two of you are willing to sacrifice or put in dozen of effort to make it work. Which include trust too.
Whatever you are going through now. All the best ! Never give Up! Things might get ugly but love don't. Love always remain the same just like God's love for us!
-Hamster Monster 🐹
1. Always aim for something together
Most of the couples who are facing Long term relationship out there had gone dry because most of them have uncertainties which is known as doubt.
Either side would think "Is he/she lost feelings or doesn't feel the same way as he/she used to " , "Is he/she secretly meeting or flirting with someone else? ", "Will anyone there try to flirt or attract her ?" All of these are the common thought people can think of. As time goes by, all these uncertainties will grow and grow. It might grow into some thoughtless action .
That why it is important to aim for something together. As you guys were aiming for something, it is where there would be hope for both of you. For example, looking forward for a vacation, a meeting ,a concert, a wedding ceremony even a date where you guys could meet, looking at a apartment together that when you guys are hoping to live together after the LDR, looking forward to meet again at his/her house ,your partner birthday party. It is very important to aim for something together. Without aim, the relationship will just die out as there wasn't any aim or vision to it.
2. Don't judge, Understand her
From time to time, you might start to get more sensitive and judgemental which would normally happen to us. Especially when you guys are far apart from each other, you might start to make all kind of assumption or you start to judge more quickly than you used to.
Not only that ,you would get extremely jealous. Imagine he/she went out to a pool party and she/he took dozen of picture with her/his friends. You would probably ask her all kind of question or you might even judge her quickly like "Who that guy/girl next to you? ","Who the hell is Josh? Why did he tagged you? ", " Stop hanging out with Josh! " Slowly you will get more aggressive and judgemental. "Block Josh! " ,you will get really paranoid about all his/her activity. Even the food she posted can make you paranoid.
Some of the people will get paranoid over small things that they think it is the end of their relationship. So my point here is don't judge too quickly because you don't know what is really happening and going on around him/her. What he/she know or feel might not be the one that you see or feel. Understand him/her more, don't judge. If you really wanna know about the things that you doubt, ask her nicely but never judge.
3. Communicate wisely
Well, communication is obviously absolutely definitely the most important fuel for the relationship. It is obvious that couple should communicate as often as possible.
Communicate wisely means talk to that person only when you guys WANT TO rather than HAVE TO!
It is very unhealthy for couples to set the requirements or minimum of calls that they had to make for each day or every night and can't even miss one day. When one of the person miss it for two or three days, that is not the end of the world.
It may work well at first, but slowly either you or that person will miss out few days. But you got to take note that not everyone are as free as you. You need to understand that people do get busy with their life. You need to spend times on yourself too rather than relying or dependant on that person voice or presence to resurrect you or refresh you.
When you force communication, ugly things might happen unintentionally. You would probably have a day when you have nothing to talk about to her as there wasn't anything interesting to talk about. That when you start to talk randomly and fill your conversation with bunch of randomness. Especially when they are spending time doing things they enjoy. Imagine that person were playing games in their free time after a hard afternoon while speaking to you through the phone. I believe only 40% of his mind were speaking to you.
Which make you feel obligated rather you want to spend time with your partner. Since both of you are busy with life, but spending time with each other is a must to both of you. Forced communication might initiate a stupid fight in the future like fighting over the facts that you sacrifice more of your time than that person do.
Give her/him space if you think that person would need it as he/she were busy. Make communication optional, they would also need to give themselves some time to do things they enjoy. By making communication, it requires trust. I am not trying to say that communicate less but communicate wisely. But Do make every effort communicate with her
Which covers that you should make effort to schedule Skype appointment like once a week .
4. Be Honest and open
Sometimes you might not know what to talk about but it is not as difficult as you think it is. It is easy as long as you are honest and open with everything you say. Talk to her/him about your day, tell her/him everything. Even about the new pyjamas that you bought for two bucks.
Try and share day to day activities with each other so you exactly know what’s going on in their life when you are not around. Keep the romance alive by compliment that person regularly and continue to make that person feel wonderful or being loved.
Before I get to the last tips, I would like to mention some simple tips too :
A) Act and live your life like your boyfriend/girlfriend is around. Don't go around and act like you are single eventough your partner is not physically around.
B) Phone call is better than texting
C) Plan visit
D) Surprise that person with delivery
5. Lastly, having a good relationship with God.
Nothing is better than having a fantastic relationship with God. Being close to God, is the ultimate key to success. Being with him, you won't have to worry about that person, as you know God plan everything and everything is in his hand.
Being close with God covers everything and bring solution to all your problem including your relationship. So it is also important to maintain a good relationship with God. For example, imagine you were kicked out of your apartment. You were meant to be very angry but you know that you shouldn't angry as angry can lead you to sin plus you know everything happen for a reason or God had greater plan for you so you would prefer to trust him. As you trust him, you are no longer that explosive which explain that you are no longer a threat to your partner that you might lash out all your anger at him/her. Well, you see? Being close with God is the ultimate key to success. He is the God of Love after all. Let God be the head of your relationship!
Will the relationship works? I don't know ,only God knows. If you are asking for possibilities, I would say yes, there is always hope and yes if two of you are willing to sacrifice or put in dozen of effort to make it work. Which include trust too.
Whatever you are going through now. All the best ! Never give Up! Things might get ugly but love don't. Love always remain the same just like God's love for us!
-Hamster Monster 🐹
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